Sunday, November 8, 2009

Thank you Twilight, you have made vampires a joke. - A Rant

Let's get this out of the way. I have read a couple of the Twilight books. I am not interested in reading any of more of them. I will not see the movies, even the new one with Graham Greene in it. And this is not going to be a discussion about how good or bad they are.

I just want to say this: Vampire romance has it's place, but because of Twilight, vampires are now a joke. People who have never read the books, or have seen the movies now associate vampires with sparkles. And teenage angst. Shudder.

I have talked to a few people about my plot ideas for my stories and they immediately make a face and say "Ugh, Vampires." Then there are three responses after that.
1. Are they going to be like the Twilight vampires?
2. They are not going to be like the Twilight vampires, right?
3. Why? They are overdone.

I am writing about my vampires. But now it is an uphill battle. It seems vampires are busting out all over. Vampire romance has taken off. And us poor fans of the monster in the vampires can only whimper.

There is a place for the monster vampires. I want to bring my take on the monster into the world. But too many people have these questions:
Is there romance? In one of my stories, but it's not the main plot.
Are they "nice"? When they want to be.
Do they drink human blood? YES.

No one is asking,
Do they enjoy killing? YES
Would I want to meet them in a dark alley? No, and run away very fast.
Do they dress in velvet? One does when he has to got to the nightclub

Okay I threw that last one in there for fun.

My favorite vampires are the ones that love the power they have. They are the ones that will use humans to get what they want. I love the manipulative, bastard, vampire. There I said it. Sorry all you, nice and sweet vampires, I would not give you the time of night.

A vampire should be a frightening monster. If you want to romance one, go ahead. I'll just get your coffin ready. And you want to have sex with a vampire? Most vampires are corpses. Dead bodies. Glad to know you want to engage in necrophilia.

At their core, vampires cannot be good. Almost every incarnation of them in folklore, they are evil. The one exception I can think of is one from Italy that would protect the village it was raised in. But that was probably due to more of self preservation than just a good heart. Vampires can be human during the day, they can be just formless mists, they can be disembodied heads, but Good? No.

Vampires are a mirror to our fear of death and what is beyond. What if when you die, you aren't allowed to pass on to what ever after life you believe in? What if something comes into your corpse and makes you sentient? Are you still human? A vampire that knows what they are, would never ask that question.

What about the romance? What about the seduction? My theory is that the vampires only do that to get to the best places to feed. Feeding from the neck must get boring after awhile.

So here's to Kain, Dracula, Severn, Spike, Varney, and all the other bastard vampires out there. You will come back, I know you will. Because if there is one thing vampires are good at, it's coming back from the dead.

Thanks for stopping by

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